I'm totally never going to update this thing daily

And I apologize for that. Some days I am just far too apathetic to bring myself to write here. I wish I were joking.

I'd like to take the time, however, to point out that the shelter has rules for a reason. I mean, they may not be the greatest rules, like, no you can't have your cell phone, and no you can't drink and do drugs, but I mean those aren't really unreasonable per se. Also, that other rule, the one about not getting together with other clients at the shelter. Yeah, you shouldn't do that either. Unless you're looking to get kicked out.

Frustration

It is extremely frustrating (and disheartening) when a client goes through the shelter, and half of my program, and gets found by her abuser and subjected to approximately 16 hours of verbal and physical abuse. Yeah, that happened today.

I just don't know what else to say other than that my job isn't glamorous and that people are crazy.

My Day in Meme Form

Not much happened

Not much happened today. Or yesterday. I had an intake today that didn't know why she was sent to our program, as her DV happened in 1995 and her abuser is dead. She stated that she really needed help with anxiety and depression. That's not really our specialty so I had to send her someone else.

Another person called on the phone. I couldn't help her because we're full. That's the worst feeling in the world. Turning someone away because we don't have the space, staff, money. I wish DV had more money. More programs, more solutions, more publicity, and not just the "Man kills wife and kids, live at 11" kind. The kind where we tell people that a relationship shouldn't be controlling and violent, and that abused people can go on to live wonderful lives.

That would be awesome.

I need to get on tv.

Short and to the point

Dear Coworkers,

You did not get raped at the gas pump. Yes, gas is a lot of money, but paying a lot of money for gas isn't the same as being forced to have sex with someone against your will. That's what rape is. Its worse than high gas prices.

Why doesn't couple's counseling work?

That was a question I was asked today.

Couple's counseling doesn't work in DV relationships for two reasons really. An abusive person doesn't think they are doing anything wrong, and an abused person isn't going to talk in front of their abuser.

Abusers don't take responsibility for anything they do. They will deny hitting someone, calling someone a name, raping someone, etc. Or, they will make it the victim's fault. "I wouldn't have to hit you if you'd just do what I asked you to", "I bought you this fancy thing, you owe me". You know, because they're classy like that.

An abused person, regardless of how much they need the therapy isn't going to say a word to that therapist. It is very likely that if they do, things will be much, much worse when they go home.

There's actually a third reason. The fact that you can't make a person change. An abusive person will not change just because you want them to. They will not get anything out of therapy because again, they aren't the problem, the abused person is. Which only serves to further demolish their self esteem and independence.

About that updating daily thing..

I messed that up didn't I? I apologize. I went on vacation and I've been tired and stressed since I got home, not to mention lacking in motivation. I was so tired yesterday that I don't think I even remembered what I did at work.

Let's do today. Today will be short and sweet. I got yelled at (on the phone) because someone was upset that their "family member" had been closed out. Regardless of the fact that this person had successfully completed the program. I didn't know what to tell this phone caller. There was nothing I could tell her (confidentiality) and I really couldn't understand what she wanted me to do.

Sometimes people are funny.